I’m a Teacher and a Parent, But This System Isn’t Designed to Support Me in Being Both
It’s the beginning of the second week of the college 12 months and my son’s digital first grade orientation is scheduled for 10:15 a.m. It’s 10:05 a.m. and I’m in a state of utter panic.
I’ve obtained ten minutes to assist a substitute trainer compile supplies for his or her protection, be sure that my group has the assist wanted to execute classes easily and transfer my automotive, which is double parked out entrance as a result of there’s by no means parking by my college.
Somehow, I get all of it achieved.
I sprint again to my workplace, sit down, take a breath and log in hoping that I seem collectively and totally current. But I’m not totally current, as a result of my pulse continues to be racing, I’m considering of the issues I didn’t get achieved and worrying that a pupil or colleague will barge in in the course of the Zoom orientation as a result of they want me for one thing. What’s worse? I’m late.
In my function as a tutorial dean, I’m a part of our faculty’s management group and have a seat on the decision-making desk. I take that very significantly and attempt to carry the distinctive perspective I’ve to each dialogue I take part in. As an educator mother or father, I’m always juggling my commitments to my college students and to my very own kids and I’m not alone. Many of the academics at my college are additionally mother and father navigating this overwhelming wrestle. The twin function of educator and mother or father is a precarious steadiness to preserve and typically feels unimaginable. Because of that, I’ve been adamant that there’s a clear want to construct an inclusive household partnership system that gives all households with a truthful alternative to be as concerned as they are often in assist of their little one’s college expertise.
Every 12 months when our faculty’s management group comes collectively to put together for the brand new 12 months, the dialogue across the want for a extra impactful household engagement technique surfaces. But this dialog typically will get sidelined because the 12 months will get began and different priorities come into play. Inevitably, we develop into mired in the assorted day by day “fires,” so we decide as a substitute to stick to our restricted current programs of mother or father conferences and beginning-of-the-year mother or father orientations and hope for one of the best.
Over the previous few months, as we repeatedly tried to get concrete about a plan, it grew to become clear to me that there have been some core limitations taking part in a function in our proverbial “spinning wheels” when approaching household involvement and engagement. The first relates to the conflation of those two phrases. In a latest planning assembly, Kristina Fulton, our affiliate director of operations, defined that the excellence between “family involvement” and “family engagement” is essential as every requires vastly totally different ways to efficiently develop on a college stage. Parent involvement connotes household participation in the college’s neighborhood. Parent engagement relates to lively participation in assist of their pupil’s studying. Think volunteering for a bake sale versus attending a parent-facing educational workshop.
The second barrier is grounded in a harmful misperception that households who can’t be concerned and engaged are disinterested in their little one’s academic expertise. But that isn’t at all times the case. I used to be late to my son’s first grade orientation, not as a result of I wished to be, however as a result of between the hours of 8 a.m. and 3 p.m. I’m chargeable for supporting the academics and college students in my college. A household’s dedication to their little one or kids shouldn’t be measured by what number of ebook gala’s or subject journeys they volunteer for. And lacking a convention, forgetting to signal a permission slip or being unable to assist a little one with homework, doesn’t essentially signify disinvestment.
A fellow dean just lately shared with me that at his son’s end-of-year class occasion, he was approached by one other mother or father who requested who his little one was. He shared his little one’s identify and that mother or father responded, “I was just wondering because I’ve never seen you around.” He defined to her that it’s laborious as a result of he works at a college and he can’t go away his college to attend occasions that occur at his son’s college in the course of the day. When he shared this expertise with me, he revealed that it made him really feel terrible as a result of he sensed an underlying judgment in the assertion—and in fact he wished to attend each occasion at his son’s college. Just like I would like to attend each occasion at my son’s college.
The teaching profession requires us to be dedicated to our students and school community, but for those of us educators who are also parents, the job doesn’t always offer us the flexibility to play an active role in our own children’s learning. The system isn’t designed in a way that allows us to be both.
To be fully present for my students, I need to make tough decisions sometimes. Sometimes I can’t be with my son when I’d like to be. Sometimes I’m late. With so many educators straddling teaching and parenting, why don’t our approaches to family engagement and involvement consider the difficulties of navigating multiple roles while trying to be present and engaged parents?
We need to do more than just know that not all systems are created to support diverse family structures equitably. We need to shift our mindsets as we design systems that do better. It is common for a teacher to express frustration about a family missing a conference or a parent who never seems to pick up the phone. I have felt that frustration and at times made judgemental comments based on assumptions that those parents just don’t care. However, it’s important that we check our assumptions. For my son’s first grade teacher, I was the late parent who may have appeared to be disinvested.
As our team is working to redesign our approach and change our practices, we’ve been thinking a lot about what we can do to bridge the divide between families and schools. If we want to better serve families with similar struggles to the ones educator parents face, we must acknowledge that one size does not fit all. And to deeply understand the diverse needs of our families, we need them to be a part of the process so we can build strong, sustainable systems for meaningful and impactful family engagement and involvement.
So where do we start? Outside of becoming clear on the distinction between involvement and engagement, we need to create a vision for what we want each one to look like at our school and what our ideal outcome would be if the system functioned successfully.
Our school holds high expectations for our families. However, our definitions of partnerships are stringently defined and unforgiving. We currently provide limited engagement opportunities and inflexible involvement options. As our team reflects on changing the way we approach building these partnerships, I keep coming back to my son’s orientation and my co-worker’s experience at his son’s event. We must find ways to provide all families—including working families and families with educator parents—with a fair opportunity to partner with us and support their students no matter what other daily responsibilities they may have. We must find ways to help families have both worlds coexist successfully.
As I continue to reflect on these issues, I see a pathway to creating better systems, but only if we design them with these considerations in mind.
Keep Accessibility Top of Mind
As an educator parent, the accessibility of information and materials in diverse formats can be game changing. For example, if a meeting or training is pre-recorded or uploaded to a website or social media platform, this allows me flexibility around how and when I access the information I need to support my child.
Present Engaging Resources
Our days are lengthy and our minds are preoccupied with endless lists of issues we should accomplish. Some of us have a number of kids throughout totally different grade ranges and even faculties. Communication that’s succinct and participating permits for simpler absorption of all the data we want.
Share High-Impact Strategies and Materials
Although I’m an educator, I look to my kids’s academics because the specialists on their studying. I like listening to from their academics as a result of it helps me perceive how finest to assist them. Families don’t at all times have the data wanted to meaningfully assist their little one’s studying. Materials from educator-led workshops or hyperlinks to sources will be so useful, particularly when my little one wants assist with a math drawback that might very effectively be writing code to energy a Tesla.
Give Parents the Benefit of the Doubt
If I’m not there, it’s as a result of I can’t be there. If I don’t overview their homework each night time, it’s as a result of I’m reaching out to the mother and father of the scholars I serve, reviewing lesson plans, grading papers, compiling statement notes or cooking for my household. I gained’t get it proper each time, however I hope that my little one’s academics will assume one of the best of me. Sometimes a mother or father isn’t unwilling. Sometimes a mother or father is unable.
